Are your kids sleeping late, eating chocolate in front of screens and throwing toys all over the floor? You’re not alone! This war has taken its toll on parents, who are juggling kids and work in a stressful environment. Getting your work done is a major concern, but not losing your cool with your children is just as important. Here are some ways to accomplish that.
Create stability for your kids
Children are feeling the anxiety and uncertainty of this war, along with a sudden loss of stability and routine. Both for your kids’ sake and for the sake of your productivity, establishing a routine with them is a good plan. You may have to create a new one each morning, since things are constantly changing, but if there’s a schedule for things like Zoom school, meal times, arts and crafts, playing outside etc. the whole family will benefit from a smoother and calmer day.
Lower expectations
When it comes to kids, lowering expectations will reduce stress all around. As long as basic needs are being met, you’re already doing what matters most. The rest can wait for calmer times. Don’t worry if your kids aren’t joining their Zoom sessions or if they’re spending too much time on their screens – release the guilt and save your energy for what really matters right now.
New toys and games
When boredom sets in, the old toys and games that used to keep them occupied for hours may suddenly become uninteresting. Bringing something new into the house will make kids sit up and notice. Think inexpensive arts and crafts supplies, board games, puzzles, books and card games. You don’t even have to buy them; you can arrange a toy swap with friends who live nearby.
Kudos to your children
Your children are dealing with a difficult situation as well as they can. They deserve all the kudos and they need to know how proud you are of them. Kids aren’t mindreaders, so they won’t know how you feel unless you tell them. Find a few quiet moments to express that they’re handling this abnormal situation like champs and that you couldn’t be prouder. This will help them deal with the upheaval in the short-term, but more importantly, will leave an indelible memory of how much you love them.
Ask for help
Asking for help is a sanity-saving strategy. Family members, neighbors or coworkers may be able to step in with assistance. Babysitting, playdates (you’ll need to reciprocate, of course) or even someone taking the kids outside for half an hour can give you the uninterrupted time you need to finish an important task or simply catch your breath. A coworker with more availability (with no kids at home or living outside Israel) might be able to collaborate or take over some tasks that need to get done but you don’t have the capacity for right now.
Picture the light at the end of the tunnel
It seems as if this situation will last forever, especially because we don’t know when it will end. One thing we do know is that it will end, so use your imagination and picture life when kids are back in school, you’re back in the office on a regular schedule and missiles aimed at Israel are relegated to the history books. Take the current situation one day at a time and keep in mind that it’s just temporary. Even if today feels overwhelming, tomorrow is a new chance to reset, adjust and try again.
Thanks to Talie Warulkar, Anxiety Coach for Overwhelmed Mothers, for her help in writing this article. Talie can be contacted at coachingwithtalie@gmail.com.
