We’re all on edge. Even those of us who are used to working from home aren’t quite prepared for doing it on limited sleep, with kids underfoot, teachers wanting them to log in to Zoom school, sirens interrupting our concentration and clients or employers who don’t necessarily understand what we’re going through. This is not an easy time and reading one article won’t solve all your problems, but if you take even one tip from it, you can restore just a little bit of sanity.
First, take care of yourself
Talie Warulkar, Anxiety Coach for Overwhelmed Mothers, recommends these tips:
- Shower. So simple, and it can really make you feel better.
- Take a walk outside. Not with your kids, and near where you can take shelter if needed.
- Be emotionally gentle with yourself. Being a parent means juggling a lot, even more during a war. If you’re wondering how to start, give yourself a big hug. Your brain reads it as love, helping calm your nervous system and create a sense of safety.
- Leave the dishes, take a nap. Sleep will help you focus better and be more alert.
- Leave the mess on the floor, take a nap.
- Leave the laundry, take a nap. Because you don’t know if you will be able to later, so do it now.
- And most importantly: Take a nap!
Did I mention taking a nap?
Pikud Oref has been sending us lots of wake-up calls. Exhaustion can mimic depression, and make it much harder for you to function even at base level. Help yourself, help your brain, help your kids.
Working when everything is unpredictable
Once you’ve taken that nap that Talie recommends, you might be able to tackle some of your business-related tasks. We recommend writing a list of everything that needs to be done at work and then prioritizing, with the most timely and important tasks at the top. Erase any tasks that can wait until the end of this current situation. Highlight the ones that absolutely have to be done this week and make a separate list for tasks that can wait until next week.
Under normal circumstances, we would probably tell you to open a calendar and mark which tasks you will do on which day, but the situation is too dynamic for that. Instead, tackle tasks whenever you have time for them. Between a warning and siren? Choose a task that doesn’t take very long. Kids finally asleep? Sit down to do something that requires concentration. Kids are occupied on Zoom school but you don’t know how long that will last? Try to accomplish something that doesn’t require much brainpower and/or can bear interruption.
Crisis conditions and exhaustion change cognitive capacity. Concentration drops under stress, decision making takes longer and simple tasks feel harder. This is a normal brain response that you shouldn’t feel guilty about.
Limit the news
Another way to boost concentration is to limit news consumption. It can be tempting to leave the news on all day and listen to every commentator with an opinion on the Middle East. Unfortunately, this will impede your ability to focus on work, heighten anxiety and make it harder to work. Since ignoring the news entirely is neither possible nor desirable at this time, take a look at the headlines every few hours, or watch/listen for a few minutes at set times of day.
Communicate with employers and clients
Projecting business as usual might be required in some workplaces, but if possible, it’s best to be transparent with employers and clients about your situation. If work is going to suffer, others will be more understanding if they have been informed in advance and if they know what’s causing the issue. Simply not meeting obligations tends to be a worse option. Communicating regularly about your availability and what tasks you expect to get done can go a long way toward aligning expectations.
Possible policy changes
A proposal has been made to allow parents of children under 14 to go on unpaid leave (Chalat) for the duration of the war (and possibly get paid through Bituach Leumi), but this hasn’t become official policy, as of the writing of this article. Don’t rely on it unless you are entirely unable to work and your employer says your job is secure, so you can return to work when this phase of the war ends.
When work slows down
If your clients are Israeli and business is slow, with projects paused and new ones not beginning, use the time to focus on family or on learning new skills that will help you later on. There’s no point in putting pressure on yourself, since this situation isn’t in your control and there’s not much you can do to change it. Do stay updated on the news, so if the government announces grants or other types of help for business owners (likely after the war ends), you will hear about them.
Be kind to yourself
If you managed to take a shower, answer a few emails, comfort your kids during a siren and maybe even take that nap that Talie recommended, that’s more than enough for now. Work will still be there when things stabilize. Your wellbeing and your family come first.
Until then, be patient with yourself. None of us were trained for working from home, supervising Zoom school and running to shelters in the middle of the workday.
Thanks to Talie Warulkar, Anxiety Coach for Overwhelmed Mothers, for her help in writing this article. Talie can be contacted at coachingwithtalie@gmail.com.
